Playing with Comfort Zones

A friend asked me recently: Why do you play with people's comfort zones? Do you just like to see their reactions?

I do not know if I have the full theory yet, but here is my best shot:

I do like surprising people, I hope it amuses them and adds a little more flavor/fun to their lives. Comfort zones are interesting, there are some comfort zones that serve a useful purpose (ie. being uncomfortable with riding in a car where the driver has drunk some alcohol), and some comfort zones that are an impediment (ie. being uncomfortable expressing friendship affection as a male especially with another male). Sometimes it is hard to figure out what category a comfort zone falls into.

Learning someone's comfort zones helps me get to know them. It is like Green's Theorem in calculus, the boundary can tell you a lot about what is going on inside.

I play around with what I consider to be the impediment comfort zones. You have to do it very lightly, and let the person know you are playing. It's like an emotional vaccine, and if done well over time the person usually gets more comfortable and stronger in that comfort zone because they know how to process that discomfort a bit better. I think this kind of playing can be instinctual, something we do to one another playfully as friends though the evolutionary advantage is that everyone grows and gets stronger (rather like sports). Playing with comfort zones like this also seems to have a bit in common with Prolonged Exposure Therapy.

Though, just like Sports and Prolonged Exposure Therapy you have to go just a little out of the comfort zone or else you can do harm. Also you should not play sports injured and similarly playing with someone's comfort zones after they have had a really bad day is not a nice thing to do.